Blog Tour - VAMPIRATES by Justin Somper

Y'all I am super SUPER pleased to welcome Mr Somper to The Crooked Shelf, because oh my goodness, this guest post truly kicks some ass.  If you like your girls to be strong and fiesty and not mard and whiny, then you are going to LUUUUURVE Lola like woah.  The final book in the series, Immortal War, is published on 9 June, in case you guys were wondering when you could experience this amazingness.  And here is the man himself.....

From the very beginnings of the VAMPIRATES saga, I was always keen to put strong women characters at the centre of the action. So you have Cheng Li, young and ambitious deputy of The Diablo, and “Cutlass” Cate Morgan in charge of weapons and attack strategy. And of course there’s Grace Tempest, the heroine of the sequence, who has a quiet strength from the beginning, which builds book by book. But, all things considered, I think the strongest of all my female characters is Lola Lockwood Sidorio. If VAMPIRATES was a TV show, she’d definitely be the one who comes at the end of the credits!

Where did Lola come from? Well, by the time I’d written the third main novel in the sequence, BLOOD CAPTAIN, I took stock of my cast of characters and felt as though I was now in a similar position to a director on “Eastenders” or “Coronation Street”, with a large and unwieldy mob to assign storylines to. I was generally pleased with the division of characters between the “goodies” and the “baddies” at this point in the saga. Heading up the rogue Vampirates, I had Sidorio, with his two “young” deputies Johnny Desperado and (Jez) Stukeley. But I realised I had a vacancy. Though there were strong women all over the story, there was no truly evil female Vampirate. That’s what I was looking for from Lola and she has more than delivered on that promise.

In the saga, her origin story is that she was a bored aristocrat who decided to spice up her life by becoming a Highwaywoman. She was killed mysteriously during an attack and crossed over into the vampire realm. In time, seeing that there were opportunities to build power on the oceans, she decided to become a Vampirate captain and started her small but deadly ship, The Vagabond, with its all female crew. 

Lola was inspired by Lady Barbara Skelton, the lead character in the 1945 movie “The Wicked Lady” starring Margaret Lockwood, and by the main character Lady Dona St Columb in Daphne DuMaurier’s novel, Frenchman’s Creek. In the first, a bored aristo decides to become a Highwaywoman; in the second, another bored aristo takes up with a pirate. My bored aristo does both and then some!

Visually, I wanted Lola to be as glamorous as Angelina Jolie. I got the idea for her black heart tattoo from a fashion spread in Vanity Fair magazine, where one of the models is sporting a “spades” motif around her eyes. It’s always important to me to get an idea of how my characters talk and with Lola, I thought back to Margaret Lockwood and that peculiar ‘clipped’ way of talking by British actors of that era. I think that Lola’s upper-crust Britishness and her obsession with manners makes a useful counterpoint to her villainy. I love the fact that she can be serving you tea in a china cup one minute and have a knife in your heart moments later. 

Originally, she was going to be Lady Angelika Lockwood, but I thought that the alliteration of Lady Lola Lockwood worked just that bit better. I then heard the old song, “Whatever Lola Wants… Lola gets!”, and, frankly, that sealed the deal.

Lola has given me some of my favourite scenes across the sequence. Two that stand out are her rather gothic wedding in BLACK HEART (which I had to keep rewriting to make weirder and wilder) and her Siberian honeymoon in EMPIRE OF NIGHT. But I think my favourite Lola moments are in the new book, IMMORTAL WAR. There’s a nice scene where she feeds blood to her newborn babies, and another where she consults a very particular set of Tarot cards. Earlier in the story, we see her in attack mode though heavily pregnant. Like many of her scenes, it’s brutally horrific but with a hefty dose of humour.  

I think in general with Lola’s arrival in the books, I got a better handle on how to do horror and also how to balance it with laughs. Many of the scenes I’ve had the most fun writing are those featuring Lola and Sidorio together.  He has become a more intriguing, and perhaps more sympathetic, character since he met her.

So there you have it. Lola wasn’t even a glint in my eye when I embarked on writing the VAMPIRATES books several years ago, but I’m prepared to wager that she’s one of my most memorable creations. It was hard writing her last scene. One of the reviews of VAMPIRATES of which I’m proudest was “Lady Lola Lockwood makes Cruella de Ville look like Mary Poppins”. I can think of no greater praise than that!

If you would like to read more about the Vampirates series, then you can go over to Justins website right here. YAY thank you Justin and thanks to the lovely people at S&S for arranging this fab tour. You all rocketh my faceth off.

Blog Tour - Guest Post by Don Calame on Swim The Fly

Swim the Fly is Don Calame's debut novel and it's already making a splash (do you get it?) over in the US of A, so to count down to the UK release, his lovely publishers Templar have organised a lovely and rather hysterical blog tour, of which I am very excited to be a part of.  Visit templar's blog right here for more details!!  I can remember reading a review of the book over at Steph Su Reads and I just knew that I wanted to read it.....and for those who might need it, here is the book summary.

Fifteen-year-old Matt Gratton and his two best friends, Coop and Sean, always set themselves a summertime goal. This year? To see a real-live naked girl for the first time. But this impossible mission starts to look easy in comparison to Matt's other challenge: to swim the 100 yard butterfly (the hardest stroke known to man) and impress the gorgeous Kelly West.

And here is the man himself!

“Did those things really happen to you? The things that happened in your book?”

For some reason I am asked this quite a lot. Since my books are based in reality, I suppose it’s a fair question. Although, it’s a very loaded one. Sure, I can admit to having been on the swim team. And yes, my friends and I used to try and create the most disgusting drinks possible by mixing things like chocolate milk and tomato juice together just to see if we could get each other to hurl our lunch all over the kitchen table.

I’ll even confess to having once gone in search of a much-rumored-but-never-completely-verified nude beach. A fantastical place that could only be reached—or so it was told—by walking for miles and miles across scorching hot sands and over countless tick-infested dunes.But once I start admitting to these small truths—things that I expanded and expounded upon in order to ground Matt’s story in believability—it can become a slippery slope.  Because, if these things are true, then perhaps other, much more embarrassing things are true as well. And that’s when the questions get more specific and probing:

Did you dress up like a girl and sneak into the women’s locker room?

Did you accidentally soil your pants in front of the girl you had a crush on?

Did your grandfather hit on poor unsuspecting widows at their husbands’ funerals?

The answers, of course, are no, no, and no.  But will I be believed? One would hope so, though I sometimes wonder.

This is my writing process, however. Sometimes I will take tiny seeds of reality—be it mine, or my family’s, or my friends’—and then stretch those truths, fictionalizing them beyond recognition, so that they fit the tale that wants to be told.

And so, the real answer to the question, “Did the things in the book really happen?” is, no, nothing happened to me exactly how it happens in the novel. Did I use things that happened to me to spark my imagination? Yes, absolutely.

But did my friends and I actually hide in a closet at a party in hopes of catching a glimpse of a couple having sex?

Next question, please.

------

BIG MAJOR THANKS to Don for taking the time to write this!! You can read the first chapter of Swim the Fly right here

Blog Tour - A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness, Extract 5

A Monster Calls was published on 5 May 2011 by the one and only Walker Books.  If you follow my blog at all, you'll probably know that I have only recently been introduced to Ness's work and that I have now declared my undying love for his ability to make the written word into something so extraordinary.  SO, when i got asked to be a part of the blog tour for his latest release, A Monster Calls, well let's just say I broke out the happy dance.

You can check out the first extract over on the lovely Sya's blog The Mountains of Instead right here, and follow the links to read every exclusive extract.  The next stop on the tour is Undercover Reads, and that will be posted tomorrow, so head on over there for your next fix!!

It is my absolute pleasure to present to you lovely people, the fifth extract from A Monster Calls:-

School

He could already taste the blood in his mouth as he got up. He had bitten the inside of his lip when he hit the ground, and it was what he focussed on now as he stood, the strange metallic flavour that made you want to spit it out immediately, like you’d eaten something that wasn’t food at all.

He swallowed it instead. Harry and his cronies would have been thrilled beyond words if they knew Conor was bleeding. He could hear Anton and Sully laughing behind him, knew exactly the look on Harry’s face, even though he couldn’t see it. He could probably even guess what Harry would say next in that calm, amused voice of his that seemed to mimic every adult you never wanted to meet.

“Be careful of the steps there,” Harry said. “You might fall.”

Yep, that’d be about right.

It hadn’t always been like this.

Harry was the Blond Wonder Child, the teachers’ pet through every year of school. The first pupil with his hand in the air, the fastest player on the football pitch, but for all that, just another kid in Conor’s class. They hadn’t been friends exactly – Harry didn’t really have friends, only followers; Anton and Sully basically just stood behind him and laughed at everything he did – but they hadn’t been enemies, either. Conor would have been mildly surprised if Harry had even known his name.

Somewhere over the past year, though, something had changed. Harry had started noticing Conor, catching his eye, looking at him with a detached amusement. 

This change hadn’t come when everything started with Conor’s mum. No, it had come later, when Conor started having the nightmare, the real nightmare, not the stupid tree, the nightmare with the screaming and the falling, the nightmare he would never tell another living soul about. When Conor started having that nightmare, that’s when Harry noticed him, like a secret mark had been placed on him that only Harry could see. 

A mark that drew Harry to him like iron to a magnet.

On the first day of the new school year, Harry had tripped Conor coming into the school grounds, sending him tumbling to the pavement.

And so it had begun.

And so it had continued.

YAY!! Sounds amazing right? YEAH? so go buy it!!

As always you can follow Patrick Ness on twitter here, visit his website or become a fan on facebook

The Replacement Blog Tour

So, The Replacement by the amazing Brenna Yovanoff has been published by Simon Pulse so now all my lovely UK followers and readers can go out a buy a copy of this creeptastic book!! Also, as part of this stop on the UK blog tour, you have the pleasure of seeing crazy old me actually TALK about how amazing this book is.  ENJOY.

Thanks again to the lovely publicists at Simon and Schuster for inviting me to be part of the blog tour.  You guys rock my socks!

Blog Tour - Christine Johnson UK Style

Christine Johnson is the author of Claire de Lune which features my favourite supernatural creature, the werewolf....WHAT WHAT.  To celebrate her Uk release, she has organised a lovely UK blog tour, so without further ado, I'll pass you over to the lady herself with her 5 reasons why she would move to the UK if she could.  

Five reasons I’d move to the UK: So, it’s been more years than I care to count, but I once spent a couple of really wonderful weeks in England. My oldest friend had moved there, and we managed to convince both of our parents to let me come and visit her. As soon as the plane landed at Heathrow, I fell in love. It smelled different. The cars were on the wrong side of the road. We had to buy “petrol” for the car, which sounded infinitely more polite than the “gas” my mother put in the minivan back in Indiana. Katie lived a couple of hours north of London, in a little village in Nottinghamshire, in a house that was older than the entirety of the United States. We spent two or three weeks galavanting around England, traipsing through castles and eating in tea-shops and seeing churches that absolutely took my breath away. It’s been decades, but I can still see Westminster Abbey in my mind’s eye without any trouble at all. I loved the *age* of everything. It made the history of the US seem so flimsy by comparison. England felt secure. Rooted. And I *wanted* that. There have been two places I’ve ever traveled that felt oddly like home, in spite of how foreign they were. England is one of those places. The other is Japan, but that’s a post for another time. This post is about why I would move to England. Which I would, given the opportunity, without any hesitation at all. Here are the top five reasons, in no particular order. 
1 ) Manchester United Football Club. I’ve been to Manchester. I know it’s not the most gorgeous city in England, but it’s home to the BEST FOOTBALL CLUB IN THE WORLD. My husband and I are big English Premier League fans. I support Man United and he’s a Liverpool guy, which means we spend most of our weekends during the football season trading off-color jokes about Fernando Torres and Nani. Here’s the thing: we’ve never been to an EPL match. And we’d both be faint at the prospect at seeing our teams *live*. If we lived in England, there would be a lot of time spent at stadiums.  

2 ) Healthcare. The United States is head-shakingly behind on this one. My family pays *outrageous* premiums for healthcare. Medical bills are a real concern. Quite simply, the Brits do healthcare better than we do, and I’d like to be part of that system.  
3 ) Indian Food. If I had to pick one and only one cuisine to eat for the rest of my life, it would be Indian. The variety of options would keep it from being boring, and I *adore* all of it. For me, Dal Makhni is more of a comfort food that the United States standbys of fried chicken or apple pie. (Don’t get me wrong. I like those things, but I’d trade ‘em for a takeaway curry in a heart beat.)  
4 ) The Oxford Libraries. I doubt I really have to explain this one. I’m a book person. I’m a research person. I enjoy following strict rules and pondering things in gorgeous old rooms. When my best friend spent a study-abroad year in Oxford, I was most jealous of her time in the Bodleian. That, and the cream tea.  
5 ) The Trains. I love a system where - for a reasonable price - you can travel safely around an entire country. I did it at fifteen years old, with my friend. The United States doesn’t work that way, and other than the major metropolitan areas, public transit is nearly non-existent. My city in particular has a small and pathetic bus system that is nearly useless. I want to live somewhere like Japan or England, where I can go from place to place without driving. Where I can watch the countryside go past and see how and when it changes. Or read a book. Or write. Definitely write, while the sheep go past and the green landscape rolls by. Ah . . . anyone in the UK need a writer-in- residence? Email me.
SEE, when people do these guests posts, it always makes me feel so DARN HAPPY that I live in the UK. We get crumpets and scones y'all, and it doesn't get much better than that.
You can see the schedule for the rest of the tour right here on Christine's blog and don't forget to hop right on over to Dead Book Darling tomorrow where Christine will be posting about her thoughts on werewolves.
To read more about Claire De Lune then click right here
and.........a big massive THANK YOU to Christine for the guest post. You made me giggle. Also, MANCHESTER CITY FTW. *coughs*

Start Your Day with Serial Tour - Presenting Shannon Delany

Welcome to Shannon Delany's Start Your Day with Serial Tour! Shannon's debut novel (and first in her YA paranormal series) 13 to Life started as a winning cell phone novel written in serial segments. During the tour you can read bits of the book in order. Miss a day? Hop to Shannon's blog and check the link to the blog tour calendar in her sidebar. There will also be a contest that will close at the end of the tour. Winners get a bunch of stuff.

I myself, have been in contact with Shannon for a while now, and I love how much time she has for her readers.  Whether it be by email, or Twitter, I always know that if I need her advice or just want someone to get excited with, she'll be there to jump around with me.  I just want to say, that I hope this book gets the praise that it deserves, not only because she's an amazing friend, but because she's an amazing writer.  Without further ado, I give you my review of 13 to Life, A Werewolf Tale:-

I think if you know me, then you will know this; I love wolves.  I love them so much it borders on an obsession.  This means I have high standards when it comes to wolfish books.  Were my high standards met in this lovely blue book full of wolfish goodness? Why yes they was!!

Delany has managed to create a story that not only incorporates my favourite mythical creature, but a story that delves into some amazing mythology and rich Russian heritage and culture.  It is full of believable character development, secondary characters that are out to steal my heart and enough twists and turns to keep you on your toes until the last page.

Jess is easily relatable and witty in a way that is understated but hilarious nonetheless.  Her observations of those living in Junction, especially her views on the Rusakova's first arrive into town, are what made me like her so much.  She wasn't overbearing and she carries the story to the action packed end unbelievably well.

If I start to talking about how much I love Pietr, I suspect I will become the chairman of his fanclub.  But, I would like to add, hot boys who turn into werewolves and have Russian accents, may just be the kind of boys I like the best.  I loved Pietr, he was loyal and fierce and has a strong sense of right and wrong, and the importence of family.

13 to Life is a debut novel that you shouldn't miss.  If not for the wolves, then for the writing that turns this book into something more than a book about wolves.  I loved it.

Excerpt from 13 to Life, Chapter Three (used with the author's permission):

"We only have thirty minutes," he pointed out as I rubbed sensation back into my hand. He glanced at the clock. "Twenty-nine. Perhaps your normally full table will have an opening today."

I grimaced at the possibility and led Pietr and his mob towards the writhing mass of teenage bodies we referred to as the lunch line. 

Considering the lunch line's length, for once it moved at a tolerable pace. I was able to separate myself from Pietr, buffering my location with some of the surrounding girls. I spent my time in line wondering about Derek — the same way I wondered about him nearly every minute of every day for the last two years.

Find out about the previous sections of 13 to Life here

Shannon's hosting several contests during the Start Your Day with Serial Tour. The big contest will award one lucky winner with a royal amber pendant, pietersite jeweled bookmark, stuffed wolf, 13 to Life mousepad, pen, tote, signed poster, personalized copy of 13 to Life and both of the 13 to Life pins. All you need to do is comment at 13 of the blogs hosting Shannon during her 30 day tour. Everyone who does so will be entered into a random drawing. Winner may be international.